Here we go again, y’all, another “Why the Hell am I reading this?!” review of a Carolyn Brown romance novel. I’m still climbing my way out of the grief crater, so this is the only form of entertainment I can handle right now. Does it make any sense? No, because these books are SO bad, they make recycled Hallmark Christmas movies look inventive. “Recycled” is a good descriptor for this author’s “plots,” and I’m using that word lightly because it’s hard to find a cohesive plot in any of her books. This one is no exception! When you pick up one of her small-town Texas books (I can’t speak for her sexy cowboy books because even I have limits), you can expect all of these themes woven into a story that goes nowhere: mean girls, big bad villains, hot new guy in town, sisterhood bonding, cheating, church, and sweet ol’ sassy Southern ladies. Oh–and Florida! Somehow things just end up there (insert shrugging woman emoji here).

So, yet again, we have sisterhood theme going on—and all three leading ladies (Grace, Sarah and Macy) are dealing with dramarama as they sling greasy fried dough all day at the local donut shop. If I can just press pause on the synapsis for a moment (trust me, you’re not missing much), I have to admit that I’m not a donut girl. When I eat one, I just feel instantly remorseful, like I just ate an artery-clogging sugar bomb that was SO not worth the splurge. Hey—that’s the perfect analogy for how I feel after finishing a Carolyn Brown book. This just got deep!

OK, so back to the plot (or lack thereof). Let’s see if I can even remember this garbage…oh yes…so, Grace is the mother of a mean girl antichrist named Audrey. Macy is a sweet, innocent soul who almost got suckered into a marriage with a con-man. Sarah…hmm…dude, I don’t even remember. I think she was burned badly by an evil man and swore off love forever? You know, the usual Hallmark channel “hardened heart” trope. They all run a family-owned donut shop, and some hot CEO dude named Travis wants to take it over and turn it into something soulless.

Just when I thought I was onto a cohesive enemies-turned lovers storyline between Macy (or was it Grace?) and the corporate hot-shot guy, the author obviously got bored with the whole thing and sent all the characters—including Travis—to some beach in Florida. Geez…she does this a lot in her books. This woman loves, loves, loves her some Florida beaches. But hey, you know what? At this point in my life, I’m okay with a plotless book that requires zero thinking. I’m just taking a page from Miss Brown’s playbook and going along with the flow without giving any thought to character development, plotlines, etcetera, etcetera.

As with all of her other books, Miss Brown crafts some evil characters, particularly the teenage Audrey, the meanest mean girl in town. When the women take in a little orphan girl, Audrey has now qualms about ruthlessly bullying the poor, sweet thing. And then—just like that—she flips faster than a greasy donut on a skillet when she suddenly sees the error of her ways. I’m sorry, Audrey, but weren’t you the devil incarnate just two pages ago? And now you’re besties with your victim because why? Oh, if only this could be the case for the bajillions of people in this world with personality disorders. Maybe all they need are donuts and a trip to FloriDUH! Cured!

Speaking of donuts, how do these women eat so many in a day and not die of chronic diseases? I just don’t see this being a sustainable lifestyle for anyone—not even mean ol teenage Audrey. But I’m thinking too much, which is silly!

Long story short, if you’re looking for a good donut shop-themed book set in East Texas, give Joe Lansdale’s “Donut Legion” a try. I’ll post a review of that one a little later when I can get my head right again.

Until then, I’m off to go read another trash novel about small town Texas life, sisterhood bonding, hot cowboys and such.