Number six on my 31 Books of Halloween countdown (yikes—I have some catching up to do!), is a total dud that I should’ve DNFed: When Ghosts Call Us Home). Yowza—this was a real turkey, which is such a disappointment because the premise checks all the boxes: A haunted sea cliff mansion; a viral found footage movie; and a haunted girl searching for clues to her missing sister whilst starring in the second installment of the ill-fated viral movie. There’s so much to unpack here, so let’s get cracking:

What I liked: The cover art is stunning! It’s so beautiful and creepy with elements of the story—ballet shoes, ocean waves, haunted houses—woven in. Chef’s kiss to the artist.

The scares: It’s weird. Even though all the horror elements were there (evil demon, possession, ghostly masquerade balls, etc.), this book was anything but scary. This book is 95% inner monologue, and I just grew tired of being inside Sophie’s head. Every page is packed with repetitive emotional descriptions of fear and dread, causing my eyes to glaze over. I get the feeling this author was trying to channel Eleanor from The Haunting of Hill House, yet the execution was all wrong.

The main character: While trudging through this thing, I realized that I need to veer away from mopey teenage characters. We are inside Sophie’s head the entire time—and it’s a total downer, man. There’s very little dialogue, so the periphery characters are barely even one-dimensional. There’s nothing to like about Sophie, other than her steadfast quest to find her missing sister. But even then, I ask why? The missing sister, Layla, put her through hell while filming her notorious movie, which makes me wonder why we should care about her salvation?

The viral film: I’m having a VERY hard time believing that a teenage kid could have the wherewithal to create a hit film with no background in filmmaking whatsoever. I mean…there’s special effects, crazy horror movie angles, epic dance scenes. How is any of this remotely believable? Also, we get no information about how she filmed, edited, and distributed this thing all by her little self. I get that demonic forces are at work here, but do they have skills in Final Cut Pro? And then the “V-Head” cult following was just absurd. Adding to the ridiculousness is some sort of dark website that challenges users to follow “The Path” to find the missing sister (insert eye roll emoji here).

Overall: I’d complain about wanting my money back, but I read this thing for free thanks to my best friend, Libby! Despite its alluring premise, the pacing is slow and drab. A lot of action is packed into the ending like the author needed to rush through it to meet a deadline. I didn’t understand how everything was resolved so quickly, but to be honest, I was just relieved it was over. Yeesh.