And the Book Cover of the Year Award goes to–drum roll, please– “Fatal Fudge Swirl” by Meri Allen! Just look at that gorgeous, glossy illustration of yummy ice cream set amidst the backdrop of trick-or-treaters. Sold!

As for the story, here’re my thoughts:

The Halloween vibes: Right from the jump, I was surprised and disappointed that the majority of the story happens after Halloween. The spooky season festivities are still ongoing, yet why set the story after the actual holiday? It doesn’t make sense.

The complicated drama: OK, please help me understand this. The innkeeper, Mary Anne, is catering a wedding for her ex-husband and his wife, even after a messy divorce and hurt feelings? Why would anyone do this to themselves? To make matters worse, she becomes suspect No. 1 when the bride ends up dead at the inn. This seems like a highly avoidable situation, if you ask me.

So many suspects: Keep a notepad and pen handy so you can jot down all the suspects’ names and motives. This book is overflowing with characters and suspects and motives and ice cream shop drama and recipes and… well you get the point. There’s a LOT going on here, and it gets confusing really fast. In addition to the ill-fated wedding, there’s a movie production rolling into town, bringing a whole slew of suspects. Sheesh…where did I put my Excedrin bottle?

Unsavory characters: I really can’t stand rich, entitled young men, so Diantha’s sons really took the cake–the icre cream cake, that is–har har! One is a B-list TV movie actor and the other is some sort of Tony Hawke wannabe athlete. Either way, I was rooting for them both to get thrown in the slammer. Sprinkles, the movie star cat, is also a spoiled brat, but I rather enjoyed his antics. Yes, he is rather violent, but some of those fools had it coming!

Overall: This story just got really messy, especially with all of Riley’s many side-jobs. On top of running her ice cream shop, she’s doing maid service at the inn for snooping purposes, making a complicated ice cream wedding cake, and organizing other miscellaneous small town post-Halloween festivities. I’m telling you; these characters are exhausting! I can’t keep up with it all!!!

OK, so this isn’t really a Halloweenie book per se, however the cover tells another tale! How spooky is this gothic French chateau? It looks like something straight out of a Scooby Doo cartoon!

Other thant the alluring cover, here’re my thoughts:

The setting: I’m giving this author extra stars for the setting along. I’m used to reading cozy mysteries that are 99% dialogue, so it was so nice to sink into this lovely French countryside setting, where the characters would taake side-trips to farmer’s markets, lavendar fields and even a spooky insane asylum where Van Gogh did his best work! I rather enjoyed this poor-girl’s trip to Provance without ever having to jump on a plane.

The multiple POVs: Authors take a risk when they choose this route because it has to be done exceptionally well to avoid confusion and disjointed pacing. Thankfully, this tactic worked very well with these characters, who were all interesting and shady.

The girl drama: We’re dealing with a group of over-privileged college buddies who all have secrets and motives for murder. We’ve got some high-class soccer moms, a celebrity chef, a struggling artist with a mysterious source of income and a hunky groundskeeper. To boot, they’re all being called to the chateau by the MC’s filthy rich grandmother for a specific reason. Such intrigue!

The likeability factor: My only gripe is that none of these characters are relatable nor likeable, probably because I’m not a trust fund baby. I just couldn’t’ find it within myself to root for anyone.

Overall: If you enjoy a slow-burn locked-room mystery, this is a quality read. The pacing might be a little too slow for impatient readers, but I rather enjoyed the building suspense and the cliff-hanging chapters! And oh my goodness, that last twist in the final chapter just sealed the deal for me! Chef’s kiss!

I can’t help but wonder if this author watched that Amazon Prime series called “The Wilds” and felt inspired to write this story of sisterhood bonding/survival. It’s just sooooooooooooo similar in terms of the whole “let’s throw a group of girls with traumas into the woods and force them to forge friendships while flighting to survive.”

If that’s your thing, go for it! Really, the suspense isn’t half bad, and the characters are okay for today’s YA standards. Y’all, I need to be honest with myself and come to terms with the fact that contemporary YA books just aren’t doing it for me anymore. The characters are getting more and more obnoxious. The storylines are contrived and derivative. The gimmicky plot devices are just plain lazy. I can go on and on.

Either way, if you’re still loving today’s YA thrillers–especially survival stories–maybe this book is for you. There’s a LOT of feminism/sisterhood bonding going on, which is great. And the author even throws in a paranormal element. I’m not really a fan of survival thrillers,, but the gorgeous cover called to me! I’m also a sucker for anything that has to do with a creepy summer camp. Sadly, early on, I realized I wouldn’t be getting my nostalgic summer camp vibes because the whole place burned down, and the girls were fresh off the boat on the remote island with nowhere to go. They didn’t even have marshmallows for campfire stories!

Seriously though…why would any parent send their kid to a summer camp from their youth without revisiting the place again to make sure it’s still on the up-and-up? I mean, lots of things could happen, right? Like for instance, the whole place going up in smoke with a killer on the loose. Just sayin. Also, how weird is it to ship your kids off on a boat to a summer camp located on a remote island, sight unseen? I don’t get it.

Overall, this isn’t a terrible story, but it requires a huge suspension of belief on multiple levels. Fans of “Lost” or “The Wilds” should maybe give it a whirl.

Halloween is just around the corner, and I’m on a roll! Here’s my mixed review of the latest installment of the Cat Cafe Mystery series:

The Halloween vibes: I’ll hand it to the author; she did an OK job with the spooky season festivities. I especially enjoyed the premise of a celebrity psychic giving readings at a notoriously haunted inn because it’s always so much more fun when there’s a dash of paranormal!

What about the cat cafe? I read these books for a reason. I LOVE cat cafes! On the rare occasion when I do travel, my first stop is the cat cafe so I can get my kitty fix. Unfortunately, very few scenes take place at the cat cafe. The MC, Maddie, is too busy with her over-extended party planning schedule to work her actual job at the cafe, which is a bummer. Why do these characters always take on too much whenever a seasonal festival rolls into town? They make me so tired.

The spooky cold case: Despite my disappointment over the ignored cat cafe, I really enjoyed the murder mystery because it involved a cold case and spooky ghosts! There’s also some Nancy Drew action with secret trap doors and hidden rooms–fun!

The cat costume parade: Question: has Cate Conte ever met a cat in real life? I ask because there’s absolutely no way a cat costume parade could ever happen on planet earth. And how did the main character tote her cat around town without any fuss or drama? All the while, he’s wearing a Sherlock Holmes costume–hat and all! Ain’t no way I could ever get a hat on either of my cats, let alone take them with me when I’m running errands around town.

Too many characters: I get it, we need a bunch of suspects in cozy mysteries to keep readers guessing, but my God there were so many people and cats with human names thrown in the mix! We’ve got multiple cops, Maddie’s family, a pool of suspects, cat cafe co-workers and more. It’s A LOT!

Overall: Fans of the series who have a handle on the cast of characters may stand a chance of keeping track of who’s who. Otherwise, good luck reading this without giving yourself a headache. On the bright side, the mystery was pretty inventive, and I enjoyed the haunted inn.

I saw this cover and immediatley put this at the top of my Halloweenie reading list. What can I say? I’m a sucker for jack-o-lanters and costumed puppy doggies! I wanted to like this, but dang it was boring. I’m sorry y’all. I know this series is a fan favorite, but this is the thrd Bakeshop Mystery book I’ve read and so far they’ve all been very ho-hum, which is surprising because Ellie Alexander’s microwbrewery mystery series is top notch.

Here’re my thoughts:

The Halloweenie vibe: Despite the promising cover, this story didn’t have much to do with Halloween. I mean, yeah there was a dog costume parade and some sort of dog theatrical program going on, but this really could’ve been set at any time of year. I just didn’t get the fun, spooky feels whatsoever.

The dog mom drama: I just can’t with the women in this book. They take stage moms to a whole new, horrific level that I cannot even comprehend–and this is coming from someone who has a huge closet of dog costumes! The main suspect, Jax and her breeder dog, Pippa, are the worst part of the story. If this was a Hannah Barbara cartoon, I’d find her character to be more believable, but her stage-mom antics are way too over the top. I know our world has gone mad, but it’s a stretch to believe that a woman would kill and maim people to give her dog the lead role in some sort of theater pagent.

The long baking interludes: I’m not a baker, but I love eating baked goods…maybe a little too much. So, I could really do without the sporadic long cookbook descriptions of baking…snoooore.

The big reveal letdown: I’m wondering if the author meant for the big reveal to be a suprise. Seriously, it was such a no-brainer. Middle grade mysteries are more puzzing that this. I’m just puzzled about this not being puzzling…if that makes sense.

Overall thoughts: I’m kicking myself for buying a few of these mysteries for dirt cheap on Chirp. I dont’ think I can suffer through any more of this drivel.

Here we go again, y’all, another “Why the Hell am I reading this?!” review of a Carolyn Brown romance novel. I’m still climbing my way out of the grief crater, so this is the only form of entertainment I can handle right now. Does it make any sense? No, because these books are SO bad, they make recycled Hallmark Christmas movies look inventive. “Recycled” is a good descriptor for this author’s “plots,” and I’m using that word lightly because it’s hard to find a cohesive plot in any of her books. This one is no exception! When you pick up one of her small-town Texas books (I can’t speak for her sexy cowboy books because even I have limits), you can expect all of these themes woven into a story that goes nowhere: mean girls, big bad villains, hot new guy in town, sisterhood bonding, cheating, church, and sweet ol’ sassy Southern ladies. Oh–and Florida! Somehow things just end up there (insert shrugging woman emoji here).

So, yet again, we have sisterhood theme going on—and all three leading ladies (Grace, Sarah and Macy) are dealing with dramarama as they sling greasy fried dough all day at the local donut shop. If I can just press pause on the synapsis for a moment (trust me, you’re not missing much), I have to admit that I’m not a donut girl. When I eat one, I just feel instantly remorseful, like I just ate an artery-clogging sugar bomb that was SO not worth the splurge. Hey—that’s the perfect analogy for how I feel after finishing a Carolyn Brown book. This just got deep!

OK, so back to the plot (or lack thereof). Let’s see if I can even remember this garbage…oh yes…so, Grace is the mother of a mean girl antichrist named Audrey. Macy is a sweet, innocent soul who almost got suckered into a marriage with a con-man. Sarah…hmm…dude, I don’t even remember. I think she was burned badly by an evil man and swore off love forever? You know, the usual Hallmark channel “hardened heart” trope. They all run a family-owned donut shop, and some hot CEO dude named Travis wants to take it over and turn it into something soulless.

Just when I thought I was onto a cohesive enemies-turned lovers storyline between Macy (or was it Grace?) and the corporate hot-shot guy, the author obviously got bored with the whole thing and sent all the characters—including Travis—to some beach in Florida. Geez…she does this a lot in her books. This woman loves, loves, loves her some Florida beaches. But hey, you know what? At this point in my life, I’m okay with a plotless book that requires zero thinking. I’m just taking a page from Miss Brown’s playbook and going along with the flow without giving any thought to character development, plotlines, etcetera, etcetera.

As with all of her other books, Miss Brown crafts some evil characters, particularly the teenage Audrey, the meanest mean girl in town. When the women take in a little orphan girl, Audrey has now qualms about ruthlessly bullying the poor, sweet thing. And then—just like that—she flips faster than a greasy donut on a skillet when she suddenly sees the error of her ways. I’m sorry, Audrey, but weren’t you the devil incarnate just two pages ago? And now you’re besties with your victim because why? Oh, if only this could be the case for the bajillions of people in this world with personality disorders. Maybe all they need are donuts and a trip to FloriDUH! Cured!

Speaking of donuts, how do these women eat so many in a day and not die of chronic diseases? I just don’t see this being a sustainable lifestyle for anyone—not even mean ol teenage Audrey. But I’m thinking too much, which is silly!

Long story short, if you’re looking for a good donut shop-themed book set in East Texas, give Joe Lansdale’s “Donut Legion” a try. I’ll post a review of that one a little later when I can get my head right again.

Until then, I’m off to go read another trash novel about small town Texas life, sisterhood bonding, hot cowboys and such.

Oh wow. This was bad. We’re talking hilariously, laughably, frustratingly BAD! But did I read it all the way through? Of course I did! My love affair with Carolyn Brown’s books is a paradoxical mystery that, frankly, I will never understand myself. Note: If you see me posting multiple reviews on Carolyn Brown books, I am NOT OKAY. Send help! I’m kidding on the last part..sort of.

Either way, as I mentioned in my review of The Family Journal (see the review below), I turn to Carolyn Brown’s books when I’m in a very bad, dark place. I’m still climbing my way out of the grief hole, but it’s a struggle, y’all. CeeCee Honeycutt, if you’re up there looking down, holla! I miss you, sweet girl!

As for the story, well, there isn’t much of one. It’s the battle of two Southern women (Aunt Leddie and Matilda) who hate each other with a burning, raging, fiery passion. There really aren’t enough adjectives to put their deep-seated rage into words. Just trust me on this one; they HATE each other. And here comes the super fun plot twist. Leddie’s sweet school teacher niece, Amelia, and Matilda’s gallant son (a secretive mega-rich real estate agent) are falling in love. Awwwww snap! So there you have it: A Romeo & Juliet love story plopped into a podunk Texas town with a whopping dose of drama and lemon pies.

Speaking of which, if I took a shot every time Aunt Leddie’s lemon pies were mentioned, I would be drunk as a skunk by page five! For reals, cool it with the pies already. I get it! They’re famous and delicious and a real party pleaser at the funeral dinners. Sheesh!

Then a few more subplots started to form, then fizzled out. Why? I’m guessing the author just got tired and wanted to skip to the part where they randomly go beach-combing in Florida. For a while there, I thought I’d get some fun dramarama with the diabolically evil Matilda (we’re talking Charles Manson meets Hitler evil) trying to take over all of Aunt Leddie’s town planning committees. But then, that all just evaporated into nothingness. I also thought I’d get to see Matilda go bankrupt by turning an old house into a vegan-friendly B&B. Nope, the sale didn’t happen, and we just moved on to the next meandering plot point.

As per usual with Carolyn Brown books, the reading experience was frustrating yet cathartic. No matter how much my mind wandered, I didn’t miss a beat. It’s like listening to a really long sleep story on my Headspace app…but with shrieking women. On second thought, don’t try that if you’re trying to fall asleep. Aunt Leddie and Matilda don’t hold any punches—and they’re even packing heat when they’re forced to square up with each other! Yeehaaaw!

I have so many questions, but one, in particular, is how could someone as stupid as Matilda’s son (sorry, his name escapes me) get so far in the real estate business? I get that Stockholm syndrome is a thing, but he just kept subjecting himself to his mother’s torture, time and time again. He even decided to swear off romantic relationships for the rest of his life because he wouldn’t want to subject innocent women to his mother’s wrath. Ummm….couldn’t you….oh, I don’t know…cut that B ***H out for good? This woman is the freaking devil incarnate! Cut the umbilical cord and move the F on!

I could go on and on about the absurdity of it all, but I’ll stop so I can go read my next Carolyn Brown disaster…I mean book! I’ve got “Miss Janie’s Girls” sitting on my bookshelf, and it ain’t gonna read itself! I know I make zero sense. I just can’t handle any other form of entertainment besides Hallmark movies (the really bad Christmas ones) and fluffy Southern Belle romance books.

It makes ZERO sense why I love my Carolyn Brown books so dang much. Firstly, I’m not religious, and these books are borderline Christian fiction. Ah hell, let’s face it: These books ARE Christian fiction. Who am I kidding here…just myself. Secondly, romance plots (without dead bodies, vampires and murder) bore me beyond belief. Thirdly, I hate, hate, hate books about single moms and kid drama.

For reasons unknown, these books are my go-tos when life gets bad. My mind is whirling around like Texas tornado, and this is all I can handle, OK!? Sorry…that got intense really quick. Either way, these books require no thinking. I can space out and not miss anything important, and I get the good ol’ down-homey country vibes that make me nostalgic for my childhood summers in Baytown, Texas. Hell, I even enjoy he church crap because it makes me think of my Sunday School days with grandma and grandpa…and all the donuts I’d snarf down at the refreshments table.

But what about the book, you ask? Oh yes, I should get to that. This one is, by far, the worst one that I’ve read by Carolyn Brown. I hated it yet listened to every minute of Brittany Pressley’s fantastic narration. She really nails it with the Texas twang and does an amazing job capturing various voices–from grandmotherly women to sexy cowboys to screeching, annoying teenage brats. On second thought, I could do without that last bit. Why did I read this again? Oh yes, impending doom and the feeling of being dead inside. Moving on.

This book is very focused on the kids, which is probably why it’s my least favorite. We’ve got a single mom from Austin moving her wayward kids to the country so they can stop their delinquent ways. Apparently, a teen smoking a joint is akin to shooting heroin in this woman’s eyes. I can’t remember what the little brother did that was so wrong, other than being annoying and irrelevant, but whatevs. They all move to “Comfort,” a little fictional (I think?) hamlet not too far from my favorite getaway town: Fredericksburg, TX. They live the good ol’ country life of feeding chickens, raising goats, sitting on porch swings, yada yada yada. Romance ensues with the local principal/goat farmer, and all is well in the world. Oh yeah, and there’s a family journal discovered in the “old secretary” (aka desk), which is essentially a plot device halfheartedly planted by the author to give the book a cool title. The mother-daughter bonding ensues as they read historic journal entries by the farmhouse’s past residents. My brain turned off whenever this happened, but I think they all learned lessons about strong women who fought for rights and stuff during the suffrage moment. I don’t know…it’s been a horrible month, y’all. My dog is dying, and I can’t’ handle it.

In true Carolyn Brown fashion, there is an evil nemesis (the ex-husband) who–just like that!–turns on a dime and becomes a human being again after just one therapy session. Seriously, this author crafts the evilest of villains and then BOOM! they do a 360 and we’re all learning lessons in resilience, forgiveness, self-awareness, blah, blah, blarg.

I’m not mad at it, though. As a matter of fact, I’m close to finishing another horrible yet cathartic Carolyn Brown book called “The Bluebonnet Battle.” It’s a doozy, let me tell ya.

One note for the narrator: I love you, Brittany, but please know that kids born and raised in Austin do not have a Texas twang. Sadly, we all talk like bland Californians out here. No offense to any Californians who managed to make it this far in my review.

My book slump continues! The synapsis gave me so much hope for a spooky, gothic haunted house story, but all I got was family dramarama. Yes, there’s creepy ghost kid noises up in the rafters and rocking chairs moving about, but that’s about all you get.

The gist: Set in a haunted English manor, this ghost story/family drama (light on the spooks, heavy on the drama) revolves around a bereaved widow named Stella who visits her preggers sister Madeline to help cheer her up. Things get complicated when ghosts start making themselves known. A persistent child ghost clearly won’t stop until the two women discover the truth of his demise. This proves to be an impossible task as everyone int he household–including a spiritualist debunker and a nefarious, patriarchal doctor–work against them. Damn, it’s hard being a woman.

Thoughts on the pacing: This OVERLY descriptive book slogs along at a snail’s pace, and you really don’t get much action until the very end. Most of the story involves Stella and her sister trying and failing to convince the awful head matriarch and her hired hands that ghosts are haunting the joint. Since they’re women, they’re obviously being hysterical and need to be toted away to the nearest insane asylum post haste!

Thoughts on the main character: Stella is broody and not a whole lot of fun, but yet she’s got moxy, which I appreciate. I’m also really happy to see a character who isn’t overly feminist in an anachronistic way. This is an ongoing annoyance with ballsy main characters in Victorian era novels that seem so out of place. I’m all for feminism, but these characters dreamed up by modern-day writers do not match the times. Stella, however, felt authentic and believable.

Thoughts on the spooks: Sadly, the ghost story is hardly there. We hear voices and stuff moves around the upstairs room, but that’s about it. This is more of a scandalous, skeletons-in-the-closet kind of story with a twist ending that a lot of readers will probably see coming.

Overall thoughts: This book was really, really, REALLY slow moving. Maybe it could appeal to historians and fans of WWI family drama. It’s just not for me, dog.

Bedbugs and weed. Weed and bedbugs. That’s all Mari thinks about, and boy is she tiresome. Honestly, I need to get rid of this sense of duty I have with books. No matter how bad they are, I feel the need to power through them. But to be fair, I spent $20 on the hardback, so I really needed to get my money’s worth.

Harsh, I know, but I have to keep it real. On the upside, the cover is quite gorgeous, and some very small parts of the story were spooky and atmospheric. I just really, REALLY did not like the main character. She’s pouty, hates her stepsister with a burning passion, bullies her best friend into mailing her weed seeds (isn’t that illegal?), and uses her new friends to score more weed. There’s an annoying carrot the author keeps dangling about some tragic event that caused Mari’s entire family to rebuild their lives in a new town. This momentous event is mentioned here and there, and toward the end I got so tired of being teased and stopped caring.

To be fair, Mari is battling really bad OCD issues with bedbugs, so I have some compassion for her. Yet, her misguided actions only make the problems worse. I’m telling you, her OCD is BAD. When she gets triggered, she goes into a panicked, violent frenzy. The only thing that can pacify the anxiety is, unfortunately, weed. So, WHY is she not on long-term SSRIs??? She mentioned just once that she didn’t like how they made her feel, but how is the never-ending waking nightmare of bedbugs any better??? Couldn’t her mother see how much she’s suffering and address the OCD with meds rather than letting her daughter white-knuckle her fear on a 24/7 basis? This is not a life I would wish on my worst enemy.

Toward the end of the book, the rampant thoughts of bedbugs and weed simmer down a bit as Mari FINALLY starts to investigate the spooky happenings within her new home and discovers everything is tied to a shady all-powerful real estate developer. On top of drug addiction and mental illness, we’re also dealing with gentrification and displacement issues. There is a LOT going on here…and sadly none of it is spooky.

The effects of gentrification are terrible, and mental health is a serious issue our government needs to do more about. That said, I wanted more ghosts and less societal problems. Can’t authors write good, spooky ghost stories anymore without having to shoehorn in all the socio-political issues with an overarching moral to the story? I signed on for a supernatural haunted house thriller/mystery, and this book did not deliver. If you’re looking for a fun YA paranormal thriller, try something by Cat Winters or Victoria Schwab