Read This!

This may very well be my most favorite YA paranormal novel. Set amidst England’s lush and foggy countryside, this is the perfect atmospheric gothic romance for a blustery winter’s night. The mystery behind the drowned ghost girl kept me glued to the pages as Violet searched for clues in a stately English manor. Complete with masquerade balls, danger and romance, this book is everything I could ever ask for in a paranormal mystery. If you love Barbara Michaels (how could you not?), I highly recommend this one!

Not That!

You know that old saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover?” Those are wise words, my friends! Please do not be fooled by this gorgeous cover depicting a gothic suspense thriller with a twinge of romance. The synapsis is just as misleading. After reading the dustcover, I was hooked. There’s a mansion filled with family secrets, a mysterious boy with paranormal powers and a spooky seaside town plagued by a diabolical force. What more could I ask for?

What I got was nearly 400 pages of Harlequin romance cheese filled with idiotic characters, inane dialogue and nauseating insta-love nonsense.

As for the plot, where was it? The only plot device—and I use that word loosely—is Violet’s unwavering attraction to a boy who likes to manipulate and ultimately kill people with his Jedi mind-tricks. She knows he’s a baaaad boy, but yet she can’t help but cuddle up with him every chance she gets. Here’s how the story goes. “I want to stab River in the heart for setting all those people on fire…..but then I melt when he gives me that crooked smile.”

Ugh! It’s no wonder why Violet lives a life of solitude in a mansion by the sea. Who would want to be her friend? Hey, I’ve been there, done that with a friend who chose to stay with a toxic man. At first you just want to shake them and force them to listen to reason. Then you eventually have to throw up your hands and walk away. That pretty much sums up my issue with Violet.

But to be honest—with or without the “glowing,”mind-bending boyfriend—she’s pretty darn lame. The author attempted to give her some depth by describing the many leather-bound books on her shelf. On paper, she’s quite the intellect, yet where does all that existential wisdom come into play when she’s faced with a moral dilemma? This is what I call lazy character development. Authors slap characters with a gimmick and—boom—you’ve got a multi-dimensional character. Read John Green’s “Paper Towns” and you’ll see what I mean.

Speaking of gimmicky characters, the most perplexing sidekick in this book is Sunshine. Essentially, she’s the provocative version of Kimmie Kibbler (Full House fans, you know who I’m talking about), who serves as Violet’s twin brother’s brainless sex toy. I was waiting for the author to peel back the layers and portray Sunshine as something more than a vacant-eyed nymphomaniac. Nope, not so much. Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but it seems like this character existed for the purpose of slut-shaming. She just seemed odd and out of place, but then again, so did everything else in this story.

In retrospect, I should’ve stopped at the very beginning when the book took a bizarre turn for the worst. Why would two underage kids be living on their own in a mansion by the sea? Wouldn’t social services be an issue? Then a girl goes missing and a bunch of kids brandishing wooden stakes go hunting for the devil in a graveyard. Huh?

So many questions, but yet I have no desire to seek answers in the following book. What I truly want to know is how this hunk of garbage got picked up by a respectable publisher. I know this is harsh, but I want to save you from wasting your time and money on this turkey. But if you’re into Bella Swann-type characters and insta-love romance, maybe it’s for you. We all have our guilty pleasures, so who am I to judge?

These past few months have gone by in a blur – and I’ve been reading more books than I have time to review! But don’t fret, my wonderful bookish friends, I have plenty of reviews coming your way. And today, I bring you a veritable cornucopia of short and sweet book reviews! Here’s a few hits and misses from my fall reading list.

Hits

Dark Kiss by Michelle Rowen (Audiobook)

This was a quality audiobook. Great narrator, fast-moving plot, interesting characters, swoony teen paranormal romance – pretty much the perfect escape from reality! I’m hoping there’s going to be a romantic triangle brewing in the next book because Craven and Samantha would be dynamite together! The author did a fine job tying up the story at the end, while leaving her readers with lots of questions. All in all, this is an entertaining read for paranormal romance enthusiasts.

Dead of Night by Charlaine Harris and Amanda Stevens

Confession: I bought this book at an airport because of the spooktacular cover! As expected, Charlaine Harris delivers a quality novella titled Dancers in the Dark. It’s a deliciously romantic mashup of Dirty Dancing and True Blood. The author did a bang-up job slowly unraveling the characters’ mysterious backstories while bringing their simmering romance into a rolling boil. I read this thing from start to finish in one sitting. Five stars all around! As for the next story, The Devil’s Footprints, I’m only halfway through it. So far, it’s pretty darn creepy. Stay tuned for the review!

Haunting Violet by Alxyandra Harvey

Misses

Mid Summer Night’s Scream by R.L. Stine

Oh R.L. Stine! I love you. I really do! This book just didn’t do it for me. I love the concept of young actors getting terrorized on a cursed movie set. And I certainly wasn’t expecting a whole lot, except for maybe some campy 80s horror movie fun. Yet it’s never a good sign when you’re rooting for the masked killer to knock off the utterly despicable characters. I absolutely loathed all of the kids in this book, mainly because they’re a bunch of rich, fame-obsessed brats in the Hollywood Hills. I get that R.L. needs to keep up with the times and market his books to the “Me Generation,” but at what cost? I can see how this book might be of interest to fans of the Kardashians and those Jersey Shore lushes, but do those people actually read? I don’t know, guys, after this sad attempt of a paranormal thriller, I might have to write R.L. off. Life is too short for lame-ass books.

Phantom Evil by Heather Graham (Audiobook)

I’ve always been very “meh” about Heather Graham’s formulaic thrillers, but sometimes she delivers some quality stuff. Plus, this audiobook was on clearance for five bucks, so I decided to go for it. Unfortunately, I got what I paid for. Lured by the haunted New Orleans setting, I really wanted to like this book, but sadly it was stilted by flat characters and a very tedious plot. It all seemed very rushed, and the author failed to make the most out of an incredibly spooky location. When you’re setting a horror story in New Orleans, you owe it to your readers to take a page from Anne Rice’s playbook and delve into the evocative, mystical Louisiana setting. I hardly ever quit a book, but I had to stick a fork in this one long before the Scooby Doo cast of characters solved the mystery.