Stephen King’s ‘Pet Sematary’ Reviewed by a Crazy Cat Lady

Message from Lil Bootz: SPAY AND NEUTER YOUR PETS! Seriously, it’s not that hard.

First off, Lil Bootz wants to note that ALL of this madness could’ve been avoided if these two bonehead pet owners fixed their tomcat ahead of time and didn’t let him roam free range!!! For Christ’s sake, they moved to a rural farmhouse that sits atop a major  thoroughfare for speeding truckers! How did this guy get through medical school?

While I’m on my soapbox, PLEASE do not adopt an animal for your child. If you’re not an animal lover, just buy the kid a stuffed animal and call it a day. It doesn’t end well, folks. Children have short attention spans and when the novelty wears off, the poor animal ends up living an ignored, lonely life.

If you’re still reading this, I just want to thank you for letting me indulge. I volunteer for a local No Kill shelter and have a lot of angst. As for the story, this is on my Top Ten List of Creepiest Books on Earth. If you saw the Hollywood adaptations and assume the book is redundant, think again!!!

The movies are fun and campy, but they completely skip over the scariest parts of the story. For instance, Hollywood did a real botch job on the Mikmac burial ground. It’s not just a hop-skip-and-jump away from the Pet Sematary.  Nope, you have to do some serious hiking and mountain climbing to get to that soured land where dead things are resurrected by the “Great and Terrible Oz.”There are also things with hooves and horns lurking within the shadows, watching and waiting for the unspeakable necromancy to unfold.  It was one thing when Judd took Louis there at dusk, when the night creatures started to stir. But the creep-factor ratcheted up about 10 knots when the idiot doctor made the trek alone in the dead of night with his dead son.

“Now the thing out there seemed so close that Louis expected to see its shape at any moment, rising up on two legs, perhaps, blotting out the stars with some unthought-of, Immense and shaggy body.” Then, “a shrill, maniacal laugh came out of the darkness, rising and falling in hysterical cycles, loud, piercing, chilling.”

The best, most creepiest part happened on Louis’ solo mission, when he started seeing and hearing the dark entity that ruled the land where no man should roam. Leave it to the King to deliver scares that can shake even the most jaded horror movie fans! Needless to say, I’m in awe.

You know what else is missing from the movies? The foreshadowing! Good ol’ Judd spins some foreboding yarns about the fabled Wendigo that is rumored to roam the woods at night. He knows quite a bit about this place because he, too, has been ensnared by its dark forces.

 “Don’t go beyond, no matter how much you feel you need to, Doctor. The barrier was not made to be broken. Remember this: there is more power here than you know. It is old and always restless. Remember.”

You know, while watching the movie (the old one with Herman Munster playing Judd), I always wondered what compelled the kindly old man to take Louis up to the Pet Sematary. I won’t give away any spoilers, but I will say that my questions have been answered.

As for Louis and Rachael, I’m not too torn up about their demise.  A LOT of bad decisions led them to that point. Also, they were so mean to poor little Church–in life and in death. The poor little guy kept getting kicked and flung out of rooms just for existing. My heart went out to the undead critter because he didn’t ask for that afterlife. Zombie cats need love too, people!

 “The soil of a man’s heart is stonier, Louis. A man grows what he can, and he tends it. ‘Cause what you buy, is what you own. And what you own… always comes home to you.”

Like Dr. Frankenstein, Luis thoughtlessly brought a life (well, sort of) into the world without any plan to nurture it. Clearly Judd’s admonition fell onto deaf ears. Let me put it this way, Luis isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer…ooh perhaps that’s a bad choice of words.

Reader beware: This book is incredibly dark, so I highly recommend cleansing your palate with a light and fluffy beach read. I honestly don’t know how Stephen King could put himself in such a dark place for so long while writing this book. There are a LOT of really uncomfortable conversations about death and evil entities lurking in the hereafter. At one point, I had to take an intermission just to stop my imagination from wandering down the dark and twisted rabbit hole that Stephen King so willingly plunges into while writing these page-turners. As I said, I’m in awe.

Now I’m off to go read a magical cat mystery with baked goodies and hot detectives. Meow!