Here’s another case of you can’t judge a book by its cover. When will I ever learn? Despite the gorgeous cover of the Haunted Mansion and a Nancy Drew-esque teenage investigator, this book does not deliver. Why is it so hard for writers to create a mystery around the legends and lore of the Haunted Mansion? There’s so much great material to work with!

Here’re my thoughts:

The mansion: The writer did a mediocre job with the New Orleans setting, which is surprising because according to her bio, she lives there! Most of the scenes take place inside the derelict haunted mansion, which is wide open for anyone to come inside and explore. How is this possible? Who owns it? That could’ve been a fun mystery all onto itself. Oh well…so yeah, the teenagers come and go as they please, and the rooms keep switching around at random, a-la-Hogwarts. The author throws in a few bits and pieces about iconic scenes, but most of the time our MC, Audrey, is flirting in the library with the resident hottie ghost named Sterling.

The plot: Like all four seasons of the CW’s Nancy Drew (how did I sit through all that craziness?!), there’s way too much going on here. We’ve got a love triangle between Audrey, Sterling and her Toxic boyfriend; a VERY concerning case of possessions; a little brother with a VERY concerning gaming addiction that was never addressed (is this considered normal?), a goth mean-girl who’s poking around with black magic; a hurricane on the rise; and an almighty evil force that must be vanquished to save the friendly ghosts! Yeesh…my mind is spinning.

The possessions: Wow, okay. Where do I begin? Things escalate very quickly when ghosts jump into Audrey’s body and do some crazy stuff…like taking a ship out to sea, dancing and singing in a nightclub (how did a 15-year-old even get in?) and breaking into a house with an axe! My personal favorite was the boat theft, where she and her loyal friends take a boat out to sea and have to consult YouTube to figure out how to get it back to the landing. Somehow this all went down without a hitch. Huh…I had no idea boat docks in New Orleans had zero security systems whatsoever.

The main character: I’m all for representation in books, but it seems like authors can’t quite do it right. In this case, the MC has clinical anxiety (same here), and that’s basically her entire identity. I thought for a second that she had a photography hobby, but that sort of fizzled out. She has a toxic, co-dependent relationship with her boyfriend because he shields her from the scary world. She goes to regular therapy sessions when her parents get concerned, which I think could’ve been edited out because this book draaaaaaags.

The hurricane: I don’t know abotu y’all, but it seems highly unlikely that any dutiful parent would allow their kids to run off to a “hurricane party” during a catastrophic hurricane. Of course, this was a cover for something else the teens had planned during the deadly weather event, but seriously? The parents didn’t even call the parents in charge of the alleged party to corroborate? Strange.

The spookies: Disney authors, move out of the way so I can just write a dang story that gives the Haunted Mansion justice! This author didn’t do it right. Why dream up some all-powerful evil force that has nothing to do with anything that we all know and love about the Haunted Mansion? Why not do something fun with the ghostly bride? It could be a cold case about her murder with all the fun spooks helping out with clues! Or why not revolve the mystery around Madame Leota? How did she become a spiritualist trapped in a crystal ball? Now there’s a story!

Either way, this is another Haunted Mansion story done wrong. There’s a chance this could become a series, but I hope not. Yuck.