Reading slumps are never fun. 😦 That’s why I’m starting this off with some good news! I have added a new editorial assistant to my staff. Meet Princess Belle! She comes to the Bubble Bubble Books and Trouble Publishing House by way of Pflugerville Pets Alive. Adopt, don’t shop, folks!

Now for the bad news…it’s been a year of DNFs and one-star books. There’s been a few stellar reads sprinkled in the mix, which I’ll get into in a later post, but for now I must bring you my biggest flops of 2024 thus far.

The Stroke of Winter by Wendy Webb

I read this all the way through because Wendy Webb’s characters are always interesting, and her atmospheric descriptions of Wharton, Minnesota transport me to such a lovely place. I’ve been to Duluth (Wharton’s neighboring town) a couple of times to run the Grandma’s marathon (well, half marathon for me since I’m only half crazy…har har har), and I just fell in love with the idea of living in such a beautiful, yet sometimes spooky town right on Lake Superior. Anyhoo, I enjoyed the escape, but the story left much to be desired.

The mystery of the haunted artist studio took a backseat (we’re talking waaaaay in the back of a bus) to the romance between Tess and her new boyfriend. Apparently, he can do a little bit of everything, including assisting the resident ghost hunters next door. How convenient! So yeah, this is a sloooooooow, meandering read, yet I didn’t hate it. I did. However, the big reveal was vastly underwhelming. It was tacked on at the very end of the book in an info dump. Clearly, Miss Webb had a deadline and needed to hastily wrap things up!

If you’re looking for a gothic ghost story with a twist, give this a pass. But this might be a good read for someone who needs an escape to a quaint, wintery town full of kindly neighbors, good food and ice skating parks!

The House on Royal Street by Karen White

Karen White has quite the following for her “Tradd Street” series and hundreds (maybe thousands?) of glowing reviews. Clearly, she appeals to many readers who enjoy her meandering writing style. Me? Not so much.

Yeesh…this was bad, guys. I mean, where do I begin? We’re dealing with a cast of white-bread characters; the only people of color are construction workers who are nicknamed “the two stooges.” I don’t know if I’m being overly sensitive here, but that left a bad taste in my mouth. The ghostly mystery plot goes on all thesase meandering twists and turns that have nothing to do with the cold case mystery that needs solving to send the ghosts to the beeamign white light! Somebody, please call the Ghost Whisperer already!

And then there’s the antiquated “Southern Belle” attitude that harkens back to the bygone era when women were trained to sit up straight and act like “ladies.” A plucky, feisty Southern Belle side character keeps dropping patriarchal bits of wisdom like, “women should wear clothes tight enough to show off their figures, but not tight enough to no longer look like a lady.” And then there’s the main character…sigh.

Nola, has a lot going on. She’s an architectural engineer, a home renovator, a recovering alcoholic, a lover of spreadsheets, and a vegan living in the Big Easy—land of sausage jambalaya and crawfish boils. Readers will continuously be reminded of her vegan diet because she’s constantly picking food out of her plate, ordering tofu or avoiding eating altogether. I fully support veganism, but do her dietary restrictions need to be drilled into our heads in every chapter?

The author also wants to make it very clear that Nola is thin, beautiful and the object of desire for every man who crosses her path. I don’t have much to say about the haunted historic cottage because there’s not much to that cold case mystery. But I will say that this series is a one-and-done for me. Nola really got under my skin, especially when she micromanaged her contractors on her stupid spreadsheet by scheduling potty breaks. No wonder she couldn’t keep anyone on staff. Woof.

All Hollows by Christopher Golden

This was my second ho-hum Christopher Golden horror novel, and sadly it is my last. The man comes up with some great concepts but can’t deliver a good, campy horror story. This one checks all the boxes: Halloweenie book cover with a glowing jack-o-lantern: check! Halloween night slash-and-stalk horrors: check! Good old-fashioned 1980s trick-or-treating vibes: check! But yet, nothing about this book worked.

Here’s what went wrong: The book is 80% domestic drama (cheating spouses, money troubles, teenage crushes, etc.). Adding to the ick-factor is some pedophilia. Yuck. I could’ve done without that bit of grossness.

The characters weren’t very likeable or relatable, probably because there are too many narrators. I just couldn’t root for any of them, so it wasn’t a big deal when the “Cunning Man” and the evil costumed ghost children started knocking them off. If you’re looking for something spooky for Halloween, pick up a classic like “Something Wicked This Way Comes” or “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.”

The Haunting by Natasha Preston

WTH? I thought this would be a slam dunk five-star read because “The Lake” was such a fun thriller, and surely I found a new favorite YA horror author. Nope! I’m failing to understand why this is titled “The Haunting.” Someone—anyone—please explain! There are no ghosts or paranormal happenings, just a gaggle of teenagers running around from one place to the next with a masked killer on the loose.

This is “Scream,” but without the snappy dialogue and interesting characters. With all the frenetic scenes of car crashes and fires, I’m still bored. The main character constantly gets scolded by her sort-of boyfriend for not eating. Why is this a constant thing throughout the book? We get it; she’s not good at self-care and throws herself in danger with reckless abandon. I wish I cared for her welfare, but nope.

I enjoyed a few atmospheric Halloweenie scenes, like being stalked by a killer in a haunted forest, but those thrills were few and far between. If you’re looking for a ghost story, this isn’t it. Don’t be fooled by that title!

Lying in the Deep by Diana Urban

I must confess, I had to DNF this at the 40% mark, so I have no idea how it all ended. There could very well be a very meticulously plotted twist, but I just couldn’t waste any more of my time on this turkey. I’m a good three hours into this audiobook, and nothing important is happening on this dang cruise ship. It’s just middle school-level drama with a lot of “he said, she said” drivel. Jade, the MC, is stuck on a “semester abroad” cruise ship with her cheating BFF and BF. Oh boo hoo, how horrible it must be to explore Western Europe on a luxury liner while getting academic credit.

Anyhoo, she has been mysteriously shunned by the two lovebirds, and throughout the cruise, they all cast each other dirty looks. Jade is confused as to why they hate her with a burning passion. Clearly, she did something terrible, and maybe we’ve got ourselves an unreliable narrator. Who knows? I guess they couldn’t stand her incessant whining. There’s an equally annoying cast of secondary characters who all have their own little gimmicks. One is trying to be a YouTube star (insert eye-roll emoji here), another is a glamorous, wealthy influencer, and then you’ve got the brooding bad boy with mysterious secrets.

They’re all supposed to be in college, but they seemed very middle-grade to me. I guess I’ll never know who killed Jade’s former bestie and why, but that’s cool. There are plenty of whodunnits on my TBR that might actually follow a cohesive plot! So there you have it! If you’re looking for a good YA mystery on the high seas, skip this and try “Death Sets Sail” by Robin Stevens.