I’ll start off on a good note by saying the covers of these Kitty Couture Mysteries are gold! The cute kitties and pink backgrounds lure me in—hook, line and sinker! If they’re trying to cater to their target audience (ME!), it’s working. 

The story, however, is less than dazzling. It’s formulaic with a capital “F,” with your “Mary Sue” protagonist, bossy mom and dreaded love triangle. I felt like the author was going overboard to make her MC, Lacy, likable. Some of her monologues about her love for New Orleans sounded like rehearsed politician speeches. She’s just a little too polished and poised for my liking. Oh, and don’t even get me started on the mother! She’s your cliched rich, stuffy socialite with control issues. Is she supposed to grow on me with her rare sentimental moments? If so, it’s not working. 

As for the mystery plot, here’s what went down: Lacy finds a dead body in a freezer while delivering hundreds of dreidel-shaped dog treats for a Saint Berdoodle’s bark-mitzvah. Seriously, these cozy authors love their designer dogs. ADOPT DON’T SHOP, PEOPLE! Lo and behold, her dear ol’ dad was the last one to see the murder victim, making him suspect No. 1. I’m no legal eagle, but this sounds a little circumstantial to me, no? Either way, she must investigate a whole slew of suspects, making my head spin with all the talking heads. We’ve got a bunch of “Cuddle Brigade” pet nannies, a sketchy thrift store worker, a bitter widoow, scandalous cheating women and more. The big reveal kind of came out of nowhere, but I’ll save you from spoilers. Yeesh. 

On the bright side, I will say that “Furry Godmother” is a fantastic name for a pet costume store! I would most certainly shop there because I’m a doggie stylist for the stars! And if I had a high-maintenance diva dog, I would love to hire a pet nanny from a “Cuddle Brigade” agency. 

I don’t know, y’all. This series isn’t my favorite, but maybe it’ll appeal to those who like extremely formulaic cozy mysteries with straight-laced protagonists. I just need a little more flair, and you’d think in a place like NOLA, there’d be more colorful characters.

Here’s another case of you can’t judge a book by its cover. When will I ever learn? Despite the gorgeous cover of the Haunted Mansion and a Nancy Drew-esque teenage investigator, this book does not deliver. Why is it so hard for writers to create a mystery around the legends and lore of the Haunted Mansion? There’s so much great material to work with!

Here’re my thoughts:

The mansion: The writer did a mediocre job with the New Orleans setting, which is surprising because according to her bio, she lives there! Most of the scenes take place inside the derelict haunted mansion, which is wide open for anyone to come inside and explore. How is this possible? Who owns it? That could’ve been a fun mystery all onto itself. Oh well…so yeah, the teenagers come and go as they please, and the rooms keep switching around at random, a-la-Hogwarts. The author throws in a few bits and pieces about iconic scenes, but most of the time our MC, Audrey, is flirting in the library with the resident hottie ghost named Sterling.

The plot: Like all four seasons of the CW’s Nancy Drew (how did I sit through all that craziness?!), there’s way too much going on here. We’ve got a love triangle between Audrey, Sterling and her Toxic boyfriend; a VERY concerning case of possessions; a little brother with a VERY concerning gaming addiction that was never addressed (is this considered normal?), a goth mean-girl who’s poking around with black magic; a hurricane on the rise; and an almighty evil force that must be vanquished to save the friendly ghosts! Yeesh…my mind is spinning.

The possessions: Wow, okay. Where do I begin? Things escalate very quickly when ghosts jump into Audrey’s body and do some crazy stuff…like taking a ship out to sea, dancing and singing in a nightclub (how did a 15-year-old even get in?) and breaking into a house with an axe! My personal favorite was the boat theft, where she and her loyal friends take a boat out to sea and have to consult YouTube to figure out how to get it back to the landing. Somehow this all went down without a hitch. Huh…I had no idea boat docks in New Orleans had zero security systems whatsoever.

The main character: I’m all for representation in books, but it seems like authors can’t quite do it right. In this case, the MC has clinical anxiety (same here), and that’s basically her entire identity. I thought for a second that she had a photography hobby, but that sort of fizzled out. She has a toxic, co-dependent relationship with her boyfriend because he shields her from the scary world. She goes to regular therapy sessions when her parents get concerned, which I think could’ve been edited out because this book draaaaaaags.

The hurricane: I don’t know abotu y’all, but it seems highly unlikely that any dutiful parent would allow their kids to run off to a “hurricane party” during a catastrophic hurricane. Of course, this was a cover for something else the teens had planned during the deadly weather event, but seriously? The parents didn’t even call the parents in charge of the alleged party to corroborate? Strange.

The spookies: Disney authors, move out of the way so I can just write a dang story that gives the Haunted Mansion justice! This author didn’t do it right. Why dream up some all-powerful evil force that has nothing to do with anything that we all know and love about the Haunted Mansion? Why not do something fun with the ghostly bride? It could be a cold case about her murder with all the fun spooks helping out with clues! Or why not revolve the mystery around Madame Leota? How did she become a spiritualist trapped in a crystal ball? Now there’s a story!

Either way, this is another Haunted Mansion story done wrong. There’s a chance this could become a series, but I hope not. Yuck.

And the Book Cover of the Year Award goes to–drum roll, please– “Fatal Fudge Swirl” by Meri Allen! Just look at that gorgeous, glossy illustration of yummy ice cream set amidst the backdrop of trick-or-treaters. Sold!

As for the story, here’re my thoughts:

The Halloween vibes: Right from the jump, I was surprised and disappointed that the majority of the story happens after Halloween. The spooky season festivities are still ongoing, yet why set the story after the actual holiday? It doesn’t make sense.

The complicated drama: OK, please help me understand this. The innkeeper, Mary Anne, is catering a wedding for her ex-husband and his wife, even after a messy divorce and hurt feelings? Why would anyone do this to themselves? To make matters worse, she becomes suspect No. 1 when the bride ends up dead at the inn. This seems like a highly avoidable situation, if you ask me.

So many suspects: Keep a notepad and pen handy so you can jot down all the suspects’ names and motives. This book is overflowing with characters and suspects and motives and ice cream shop drama and recipes and… well you get the point. There’s a LOT going on here, and it gets confusing really fast. In addition to the ill-fated wedding, there’s a movie production rolling into town, bringing a whole slew of suspects. Sheesh…where did I put my Excedrin bottle?

Unsavory characters: I really can’t stand rich, entitled young men, so Diantha’s sons really took the cake–the icre cream cake, that is–har har! One is a B-list TV movie actor and the other is some sort of Tony Hawke wannabe athlete. Either way, I was rooting for them both to get thrown in the slammer. Sprinkles, the movie star cat, is also a spoiled brat, but I rather enjoyed his antics. Yes, he is rather violent, but some of those fools had it coming!

Overall: This story just got really messy, especially with all of Riley’s many side-jobs. On top of running her ice cream shop, she’s doing maid service at the inn for snooping purposes, making a complicated ice cream wedding cake, and organizing other miscellaneous small town post-Halloween festivities. I’m telling you; these characters are exhausting! I can’t keep up with it all!!!

OK, so this isn’t really a Halloweenie book per se, however the cover tells another tale! How spooky is this gothic French chateau? It looks like something straight out of a Scooby Doo cartoon!

Other thant the alluring cover, here’re my thoughts:

The setting: I’m giving this author extra stars for the setting along. I’m used to reading cozy mysteries that are 99% dialogue, so it was so nice to sink into this lovely French countryside setting, where the characters would taake side-trips to farmer’s markets, lavendar fields and even a spooky insane asylum where Van Gogh did his best work! I rather enjoyed this poor-girl’s trip to Provance without ever having to jump on a plane.

The multiple POVs: Authors take a risk when they choose this route because it has to be done exceptionally well to avoid confusion and disjointed pacing. Thankfully, this tactic worked very well with these characters, who were all interesting and shady.

The girl drama: We’re dealing with a group of over-privileged college buddies who all have secrets and motives for murder. We’ve got some high-class soccer moms, a celebrity chef, a struggling artist with a mysterious source of income and a hunky groundskeeper. To boot, they’re all being called to the chateau by the MC’s filthy rich grandmother for a specific reason. Such intrigue!

The likeability factor: My only gripe is that none of these characters are relatable nor likeable, probably because I’m not a trust fund baby. I just couldn’t’ find it within myself to root for anyone.

Overall: If you enjoy a slow-burn locked-room mystery, this is a quality read. The pacing might be a little too slow for impatient readers, but I rather enjoyed the building suspense and the cliff-hanging chapters! And oh my goodness, that last twist in the final chapter just sealed the deal for me! Chef’s kiss!

I can’t help but wonder if this author watched that Amazon Prime series called “The Wilds” and felt inspired to write this story of sisterhood bonding/survival. It’s just sooooooooooooo similar in terms of the whole “let’s throw a group of girls with traumas into the woods and force them to forge friendships while flighting to survive.”

If that’s your thing, go for it! Really, the suspense isn’t half bad, and the characters are okay for today’s YA standards. Y’all, I need to be honest with myself and come to terms with the fact that contemporary YA books just aren’t doing it for me anymore. The characters are getting more and more obnoxious. The storylines are contrived and derivative. The gimmicky plot devices are just plain lazy. I can go on and on.

Either way, if you’re still loving today’s YA thrillers–especially survival stories–maybe this book is for you. There’s a LOT of feminism/sisterhood bonding going on, which is great. And the author even throws in a paranormal element. I’m not really a fan of survival thrillers,, but the gorgeous cover called to me! I’m also a sucker for anything that has to do with a creepy summer camp. Sadly, early on, I realized I wouldn’t be getting my nostalgic summer camp vibes because the whole place burned down, and the girls were fresh off the boat on the remote island with nowhere to go. They didn’t even have marshmallows for campfire stories!

Seriously though…why would any parent send their kid to a summer camp from their youth without revisiting the place again to make sure it’s still on the up-and-up? I mean, lots of things could happen, right? Like for instance, the whole place going up in smoke with a killer on the loose. Just sayin. Also, how weird is it to ship your kids off on a boat to a summer camp located on a remote island, sight unseen? I don’t get it.

Overall, this isn’t a terrible story, but it requires a huge suspension of belief on multiple levels. Fans of “Lost” or “The Wilds” should maybe give it a whirl.

Halloween is just around the corner, and I’m on a roll! Here’s my mixed review of the latest installment of the Cat Cafe Mystery series:

The Halloween vibes: I’ll hand it to the author; she did an OK job with the spooky season festivities. I especially enjoyed the premise of a celebrity psychic giving readings at a notoriously haunted inn because it’s always so much more fun when there’s a dash of paranormal!

What about the cat cafe? I read these books for a reason. I LOVE cat cafes! On the rare occasion when I do travel, my first stop is the cat cafe so I can get my kitty fix. Unfortunately, very few scenes take place at the cat cafe. The MC, Maddie, is too busy with her over-extended party planning schedule to work her actual job at the cafe, which is a bummer. Why do these characters always take on too much whenever a seasonal festival rolls into town? They make me so tired.

The spooky cold case: Despite my disappointment over the ignored cat cafe, I really enjoyed the murder mystery because it involved a cold case and spooky ghosts! There’s also some Nancy Drew action with secret trap doors and hidden rooms–fun!

The cat costume parade: Question: has Cate Conte ever met a cat in real life? I ask because there’s absolutely no way a cat costume parade could ever happen on planet earth. And how did the main character tote her cat around town without any fuss or drama? All the while, he’s wearing a Sherlock Holmes costume–hat and all! Ain’t no way I could ever get a hat on either of my cats, let alone take them with me when I’m running errands around town.

Too many characters: I get it, we need a bunch of suspects in cozy mysteries to keep readers guessing, but my God there were so many people and cats with human names thrown in the mix! We’ve got multiple cops, Maddie’s family, a pool of suspects, cat cafe co-workers and more. It’s A LOT!

Overall: Fans of the series who have a handle on the cast of characters may stand a chance of keeping track of who’s who. Otherwise, good luck reading this without giving yourself a headache. On the bright side, the mystery was pretty inventive, and I enjoyed the haunted inn.

I saw this cover and immediatley put this at the top of my Halloweenie reading list. What can I say? I’m a sucker for jack-o-lanters and costumed puppy doggies! I wanted to like this, but dang it was boring. I’m sorry y’all. I know this series is a fan favorite, but this is the thrd Bakeshop Mystery book I’ve read and so far they’ve all been very ho-hum, which is surprising because Ellie Alexander’s microwbrewery mystery series is top notch.

Here’re my thoughts:

The Halloweenie vibe: Despite the promising cover, this story didn’t have much to do with Halloween. I mean, yeah there was a dog costume parade and some sort of dog theatrical program going on, but this really could’ve been set at any time of year. I just didn’t get the fun, spooky feels whatsoever.

The dog mom drama: I just can’t with the women in this book. They take stage moms to a whole new, horrific level that I cannot even comprehend–and this is coming from someone who has a huge closet of dog costumes! The main suspect, Jax and her breeder dog, Pippa, are the worst part of the story. If this was a Hannah Barbara cartoon, I’d find her character to be more believable, but her stage-mom antics are way too over the top. I know our world has gone mad, but it’s a stretch to believe that a woman would kill and maim people to give her dog the lead role in some sort of theater pagent.

The long baking interludes: I’m not a baker, but I love eating baked goods…maybe a little too much. So, I could really do without the sporadic long cookbook descriptions of baking…snoooore.

The big reveal letdown: I’m wondering if the author meant for the big reveal to be a suprise. Seriously, it was such a no-brainer. Middle grade mysteries are more puzzing that this. I’m just puzzled about this not being puzzling…if that makes sense.

Overall thoughts: I’m kicking myself for buying a few of these mysteries for dirt cheap on Chirp. I dont’ think I can suffer through any more of this drivel.

Here we go again, y’all, another “Why the Hell am I reading this?!” review of a Carolyn Brown romance novel. I’m still climbing my way out of the grief crater, so this is the only form of entertainment I can handle right now. Does it make any sense? No, because these books are SO bad, they make recycled Hallmark Christmas movies look inventive. “Recycled” is a good descriptor for this author’s “plots,” and I’m using that word lightly because it’s hard to find a cohesive plot in any of her books. This one is no exception! When you pick up one of her small-town Texas books (I can’t speak for her sexy cowboy books because even I have limits), you can expect all of these themes woven into a story that goes nowhere: mean girls, big bad villains, hot new guy in town, sisterhood bonding, cheating, church, and sweet ol’ sassy Southern ladies. Oh–and Florida! Somehow things just end up there (insert shrugging woman emoji here).

So, yet again, we have sisterhood theme going on—and all three leading ladies (Grace, Sarah and Macy) are dealing with dramarama as they sling greasy fried dough all day at the local donut shop. If I can just press pause on the synapsis for a moment (trust me, you’re not missing much), I have to admit that I’m not a donut girl. When I eat one, I just feel instantly remorseful, like I just ate an artery-clogging sugar bomb that was SO not worth the splurge. Hey—that’s the perfect analogy for how I feel after finishing a Carolyn Brown book. This just got deep!

OK, so back to the plot (or lack thereof). Let’s see if I can even remember this garbage…oh yes…so, Grace is the mother of a mean girl antichrist named Audrey. Macy is a sweet, innocent soul who almost got suckered into a marriage with a con-man. Sarah…hmm…dude, I don’t even remember. I think she was burned badly by an evil man and swore off love forever? You know, the usual Hallmark channel “hardened heart” trope. They all run a family-owned donut shop, and some hot CEO dude named Travis wants to take it over and turn it into something soulless.

Just when I thought I was onto a cohesive enemies-turned lovers storyline between Macy (or was it Grace?) and the corporate hot-shot guy, the author obviously got bored with the whole thing and sent all the characters—including Travis—to some beach in Florida. Geez…she does this a lot in her books. This woman loves, loves, loves her some Florida beaches. But hey, you know what? At this point in my life, I’m okay with a plotless book that requires zero thinking. I’m just taking a page from Miss Brown’s playbook and going along with the flow without giving any thought to character development, plotlines, etcetera, etcetera.

As with all of her other books, Miss Brown crafts some evil characters, particularly the teenage Audrey, the meanest mean girl in town. When the women take in a little orphan girl, Audrey has now qualms about ruthlessly bullying the poor, sweet thing. And then—just like that—she flips faster than a greasy donut on a skillet when she suddenly sees the error of her ways. I’m sorry, Audrey, but weren’t you the devil incarnate just two pages ago? And now you’re besties with your victim because why? Oh, if only this could be the case for the bajillions of people in this world with personality disorders. Maybe all they need are donuts and a trip to FloriDUH! Cured!

Speaking of donuts, how do these women eat so many in a day and not die of chronic diseases? I just don’t see this being a sustainable lifestyle for anyone—not even mean ol teenage Audrey. But I’m thinking too much, which is silly!

Long story short, if you’re looking for a good donut shop-themed book set in East Texas, give Joe Lansdale’s “Donut Legion” a try. I’ll post a review of that one a little later when I can get my head right again.

Until then, I’m off to go read another trash novel about small town Texas life, sisterhood bonding, hot cowboys and such.